NEW YORK – WINTER

OK, seriously fuck this shit. I go to get my laundry at five in the morning and you’re going to pull this nonsense?

snow-004

This is a winter fucking wonderland, and it’s not cute anymore that it’s March fucking 2nd!

snow-005In the immortal words of Meghan-god-bless-her-soul-Sims, you are fist-fucking me! I had to turn off my flash there was so much damn white shit in the sky.

snow-006Seriously, fuckface, we are neither at Breckenridge, Mount Snow, nor Northstar-at-Tahoe. Are you fucking wasted behind the snow-gun or something?

snow-002Great.

snow-008

Oh, cute. You’ve sculpted a beautiful model of the Hima-fucking-layas right here on Wychoff Street. Because of your artistry, I can’t skateboard for a week, shit-for-brains!!!

snow-016Hey, Tylenol. Next time you come up with a seasonal ad campaign, how about you skip the cruel, sadistic jokes.

snow-013So I get to the laudromat in a tissy and I realize I washed my clothes with a fucking Mini-Logo bearing.

snow-009I guess I have a spotty record with clothing since I insist against all logic to pile my colors in with my whites. I fucked up my most recent batch by washing clothes not only with a heat-rupturing condom but with a tube of chapstick, as well. This time, well, I have no idea what bled red on my shit.  I mean, China’s a red country, but I think they stick normal-colored grease in their bearings…

snow-014Look, I’m making  a damn-good stab at sanity and domesticity, but with all these fucking variables to equate, I feel like god has it out to make me some kind of seasonally-depressed fairy or something.

snow-022Do you see this? Do you really fucking see this?!

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