“Did We Just Get a Shout-out?!”:Bushwick, Brooklyn / Ridgewood, Queens

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We got to the Penske Rental place early Sunday morning. 

I swear to god Oscar Wilde posed just like this in one of those inflammatory, talk-of-the-town author bio photos.

This is an outtake of a photo I sent somewhere else. This chick is a total babe. She was really friendly and forthcoming. “I’m up for anyting [within the realm of photographic decency].” Good thing she had an awesome personality, because when you’re dressed like a big piece of candy you have little wriggle room if you’re an asshole. Turns out, she’s from Ridgewood, Queens, born and raised! “Yeah, we’re an endangered species, kind of like the snow leapard.”

danilo-smoke-bomb-oneWe were so fired up, Danilo lit off some smoke bombs.

danilo-smoke-bomb-twoI said “Cool!” and grabbed a smoke bomb. “No. I use these for photographic purposes,” he said, snatching back a smoke bomb that perfectly matched the flannel I was wearing. I was tee’d off until I looked at this photo of Danilo looking at a smoke bomb and I said “Shit!”

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Truck flair.

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Mario and I peeled this from the wall of his old bedroom and stuck it to his back. It’s not much of a joke because Danilo really is a nice guy.

Danilo was stuffing trash bags with stuff he didn’t want  any more, including this stuffed snake. “No!” I said. “He’s too cute and I’m turning him into our moving mascot.” Through Williamsburg, Bushwick and Ridgewood, this cheerful guy flapped in the wind, spreading happiness to all who noticed.

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The new apartment. Now, Danilo is a nice guy, this much is certain, but he can get a little bossy. Here I protest by documenting all the work I’m not doing.

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Skate spot!

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Pictured below:

piano-oneWhen we got all his stuff to the new place, Danilo said he wanted to check out a piano in Bushwick. He liked it so much he bought it. I said great, but how are we going to get this to your place? It must weight 700 pounds, bro.

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 “You wanna grab an end?”

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The unbelievable!

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Danilo grabbed funds.

He offered the guys twenty bucks extra to help us move it up the five-flat-fifteen at his apartment, but they politely declined.

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Mario and I hopped in the truck when I was like, “where’s Danilo?” Oh, he’s in the back. Wha-what?

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Despite all logic (“Danilo, you’re going to get your legs crushed”), Danilo said he was staying in the back of the piano so it wouldn’t fall. I locked up the back, but only when Danilo promised me he would play the whole way so I would know he wasn’t dead.

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Oh, great. We’re locked out.

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lock-out-threeDanilo’s landlord and maintenance guy were up there so we tried calling them.

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We threw pebbles.

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Oh, don’t try the buzzer. It doesn’t work.

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Mario was ready to fight somebody.

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Are you kidding me?

lock-out-elevenI don’t remember how we got in but we got the vacuum cleaner before picking up some extra help at Vinnie’s Pizza on Bedford, where I eat about four times a week. Adam and Bret were waiting there.

stairs-oneThey all hopped in the back with snacks and beer. Once we got the piano up the stoop, we had absolutely no idea how to get it up such a steep and narrow set of stairs. This, we realized, has become a pop quiz of geometry and physics.
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Hey, we made it!

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Danilo and his roommates are going to sound-proof the walls of their music room so their downstairs neighbor will leave them the fuck alone.

We slid the piano up the stairs upside down. Now its top looks like the bottom of a skateboard.

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Danilo wanted us to break down this armoire but we weren’t having it.

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We were too busy checking google.

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This is how they did it in the olden days.

We were hanging out in Bret’s room, right next to the music room. Bret has an awesome collection of animal art. Owls, wolfs, tigers and grizzly bears all line his walls.

Back home in Bushwick, I threw down a switch parallel park, first try.

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