EX-CURSION #1: ROOSEVELT ISLAND

GAVIN McINNES IS AN ASSHOLE

MY DAD IS PRETTY EFFIN’ AWESOME…

…but he don’t like swears. Just recently he publically reprimanded me on Facebook for filling a status update with the f-word (I was bemoaning my work being interrupted by an insultingly loud coffeeshop band–a sentiment he would share had he been there), adding how I should attend anger management classes.

For reals? See, it took precisely 3.7 seconds lurking his facebook page to find the above piece of incrimination–which was once very publically his facebook thumbnail, no less! Yes, that is the noggin of Saddam Hussein my father is resting his sandy L.L. Bean sole on. While the sentiment is funny and a safe one to hold, I will curb my enthusiam as I point out how, in Islamic culture, showing the bottom of one’s shoe is a tremendously filthy thing to do–it is the cultural equivolent of “flipping the bird,” only this gesture packs so much more oomph because you’re literally acquainting them with the dirtiest parts of your day. This convention is so alive and well, certain forms of leg-crossing are strictly no-no’d–a fact mentioned in the Islamic cultural guidebook my dad passed down to me. My father’s facebooked expression is exponentially more offensive than whatever textual virulence I spewed at the shitty band at Cafe Orwell.

I figure my dad and I should just agree that swearing is 1.) fun, 2.) therapeutic, 3.) and something he, I, and everybody else we know enjoy doing every single day. Anyway, what’s a hearty exchange of Fuckin’ A! between father and son but the sweet, swift sound of a hatchet being buried.

INTERVIEW MAGAZINE: PAUL RUST AND I HASH IT OUT

Photo by Seth Olenick

I’m excited to report the good folks at Interview were sufficiently interested in Paul they posted the non-penis-related end of the conversation Paul and I had earlier this week for Street Carnage. Do check it out here.

Before the interview I asked a few mutual friends of Paul and I to tell me what they thought about Paul’s work. Danielle Santangelo who ran in the same theater circles as Paul now lives in Melbourne, Australia. She wrote the following about Paul:

Paul and I knew each other fairly well in college. He always did the most tragically gorgeous skits at No Shame…they all had this air of childhood innocense and curiousity juxtaposed with some darkly grotesque materialization of the human condition.

Nudity was a common theme, and I remember many people (jealous types, right?) complaining that it was his cop-out for an “ending” worthy of any value of shock. And yes, there was certainly a level of shock that came with seeing a wagging little penis gyrating onstage as its owner paraded around singing at the top of his lungs (especially to first-time no shamers).

But I think a lot of people saw it as very confronting, and sort of a physical representation of the themes of his skits: Here was this lanky, pale man-boy sort of refusing to grow up, all the while being terrifically aware of his happy little care-free world melting into the grotesqueries of adult reality.

I’d say that most of his skits revolved around a realization by a naive-type that the consequences of growing up are disturbing and agonizing. a heartbreaking descent into incomprehensibility ensues.

So yeah, smart little guy. One of my favorites was called “Naughty Words.” Paul played the little boy, Jeremy, Chris Stangl played his father, and Aprille Clarke played his mother. a copy of the script is here. It’s really my favorite ever. I directed it for one of my final directing projects my last year of school.

I was in a full-length play of his called Bumblegum Brigade in 2004. Again with the themes of childhood innocense metamorphosing into adult-themed grotesqueries. This time a bit more literal. It’s regarded as the greatest workshop production (low-budget) ever put on the UI Theatre Department stage.

I also have fond memories of watching Paul as the frontman of My Business Failed In Three Weeks, a twisted lo-fi garage band with hits like “Givin’ 110%” and “Office Chair.” They were just getting out of conceptual-band territory when all the dudes graduated and had to disband. Paul frequently found a way to make a Mick Jagger impression work in a whine-core version of “Man In the Mirror.”

Another great memory is sitting with him in the audience at the midnight premiere of “Freddy Vs. Jason.” Paul is really into trashy horror, and Freddy Vs. Jason was certainly no exception. The theatre was packed, sold-out, and buzzing with geek-saturated anticipation minutes before the lights dimmed. Suddenly Paul starts clapping and chanting, loud enough for the whole theatre to hear him:

“WHO WANTS FREDDY TO WIN SHOUT YAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!”

(crowd goes wild)

“WHO WANTS JASON TO WIN SHOUT YAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!”

(crowd goes wild)

Silly it was, but he managed to encapsulate the nonsensical and for-the-fans spirit of the film.

STREET CARNAGE: THE NATURIST

My boss made some funny videos that the WSJ and Gawker have mixed feelings about.

We’re still waiting for this to come out:

STREET CARNAGE: THAT NAKED GUY FROM COLLEGE IS AN INGLOURIOUS BASTERD

Paul Rust and I were acquaintances at Iowa and I was thrilled to see him in the trailer for Quentin Tarantion’s fantastic Inglourious Basterds.

You can see him ever so briefly at the 12-second mark.

I can’t believe I didn’t mention this appearance in the 2009 MTV Movie Awards.

Click here to read the Street Carnage article.

[note: I hope to link to another version of the interview tomorrow. If the publication in question doesn't bite I'll post the second set of questions here.]

Screaming Panda

Nick and I shared filming duty on this video for his friends’ production company, Screaming Panda. We told the kids at the park we were filming Clark Hassler for the enjoi video and they believed us. Which was cruel and funny at the same time.

This was my first time ever filming, and I made plenty of rookie mistakes. Let’s play I-spy and list them:

I probably should have crouched down and held the camera lower.

I have little concept of angles and placement.

My free arm kept getting in the way, so I made a point of cocking it behind my back. And while this is extraneous to the actual video product, I nonetheless cringe when I watch this video because I appear limper than a drunken politician stumbling out the Giraffe.

Props to Jeff (dressed as the panda) for soldering through the shoot. He did the flip a half dozen times (spraining his ankle in the process). I tried his panda helmet on and seriously, the fact he could do tricks (he was warming up with clean kickflips in full Panda garb), let alone skate, is remarkable. That thing allows for absolutely no periral vision, and the fur suit was coated in an easy-to-clean, horrifically unbreathable plastic lining. Oh, fun note: Jeff was skating in suede Uggs, which he said were not only comfortable but had great board-feel. Who would have thought the ugliest thing to happen to women’s feet might just be the most optimal footwear for New York’s harsh, dry winters.

Dave “Daft Connie” Carnie Post on Street Carnage

self-portrait by Dave Carnie

At Street Carnage I’m pretty excited to announce we’d secured a post-share with Dave Carnie and King Shit. Check it out here and leave Carnie some damn virulence!

STREET CARNAGE: THE BILLIONAIRE BEGGAR

Check out the interview I did with the Billionaire Beggar on Street Carnage.

Yeah, More Street Carnage + Thrasher!

Becky thought it appropriate to add the “…really well.” Here are a few new articles I’ve written at Street Carnage:

MY UNINTENTIONALLY (HILARIOUS!) FASCIST TATTOO

AN INTERVIEW WITH TRUMAN CATPOTE

THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION BY A GIRL CALLED MARIA

Additionally, the latest Thrasher hit newstands.

I’ve got a couple interviews in there:

WAVVES

The one-man band Wavves has blown up so big and so quickly, critics have already later’d this 22-year-old scumgazer. And while that’s what happens with most buzz bands, Nathan Williams’ exceptionality comes not from the steep arch of his notoriety—he went from nameless San Diego record store clerk to indie sensation in nano-time—but for  how legit-ly he shreds. Wavves’ brand of “no-fi” garage rock reminds skateboarders of the sound in our heads when we’re stoked and wasted in the sunshine, bombing hills to wherever our friends are hanging out. Additionally fun, he put a vintage skate photo on the cover of this year’s Wavvves [Fat Possum], the debut album which necessitated a frantic tour of 85 sets in 77 days at mid-sized venues and festivals across the country. That’s a pretty daunting itinerary, especially when you consider how Wavves had yet to even play a house show. And while the band muscled through it, it was the disastrous and mostly cancelled European tour—where a trashed Nathan abused the Barcelona audience and prompted his tour-drummer to announce his quitting the band by dumping beer over his head and walking off—that left folks wondering if Nathan hadn’t succumbed to the too-much-too-soon cliché. Oops. To make him feel better I told him how I got in big trouble for drunkenly stage-ollying at his recent show in Brooklyn. —Peter Madsen

It’s mid 60s in SD and it’s noon. Where are you going skating?

I’m skating in my Xbox 360 with Skate 2. It’s fucking amazing.  Seriously though, I need to go get a new board. I like to skate Cabrillo Elementary School right by my house—it has nice banks. I fuck with everything except stairs.

I’m glad you actually skateboard. I didn’t want to spend the entire interview berating you for using skate photos as cover art.

[laughs] Yeah, that would have been a bummer. I do skateboard— have since I was 11. There are a ton of famous San Diego spots, but they’re mostly stairs. Here you have to be creative, which a lot of people don’t want to do. I don’t like going back to the same spot everyday unless I have a certain trick I want to try. Lately I’ve been doing kickflip manuals. I fastplanted a dumpster the other day.

That’s some Jeremy Klein shit. Thanks for the skateboarding music.

Huh. I think the songs’ atmospherics have everything to do with the Southern California vibe which kind of oozes skateboarding. I think the music’s kind of nostalgic. Most of the time, I just hang out with friends, skate, and party.

Northern California oozes skateboarding. You’ve said your music is about depression.

It’s kind of about depression. The reason I write about that stuff sometimes is if you say aloud “I’m a loser, I’m going nowhere,” you feel better, and it’s no big deal. You’ve accepted it.

Whatever happened to Juavves, your Spanish-language tribute band? That shit was great!

That’s flattering, but it kinda weirds me out. Apparently there’s a Country-Western guy who also does Wavves covers. It just shows how this whole experience has been moving in fast-forward.

As the time of this interview it’s been a week since the shenanigans in Barcelona. Have you gained perspective on the whole thing?

I don’t really have too much perspective on it because I don’t remember playing. My mom called me the next day and asked how it went, and I said “It went well, I think.”

Did you use booze and pills to more or less relax while going full-throttle with touring?

Kind of. I’m not going to rehab or anything, but I’ve slowed down a bit. The thing is, the whole situation got out of hand. On tour, they literally hire drug dealers to hand out shit. We play at bars so there’s free booze everywhere. Before Europe we’d had a week downtime and then we were supposed to do 35 more shows. Some people can do that and some can’t. I just got too fucked up to play. It wasn’t the first time this happened. Any of the four people who saw me play Fargo with Blank Dogs saw the same thing happen. Barcelona was just a way bigger stage. The reason the European tour didn’t go on was because Ryan [his drummer] and I weren’t going to play music after Barcelona, and I need a drummer for the shows. We’ve since worked it out.

I see parallels between your sudden success as a musician and that of young, recently-turned pros.

Yeah. I feel like getting sponsored and turning pro in skateboarding and playing music are really similar things. You get these kids, just some fucking kid like me, and they go pro and get money thrown at them. Of course they’re going to turn into Piss Drunks for a little bit. It’s the lifestyle of touring, and playing shows is like doing demos–you have to go turn it on every night to impress a crowd every night. It’s something I guess I’m not totally used to.

You caught some flak from the Black Lips and Psychedelic Horseshit for the antics in Spain and for selling-out the “no-fi” sound — do you have anything to say to them?

Haters are gonna hate. I’m not going to respond to any of that shit.

ODD NOSDAM [Props to CLAYTON BLAHA on the steez'd out photo!!!]

Odd Nosdam co-founded anticon., and his real name is David Madson. His little brother’s name has been Peter Madson—very much like my real name—much longer than David Madson has been the music-scorer to Element’s recent video T.I.M.E. —Peter Madsen

I just realized that “Nosdam” is Madson backwards. Can we talk about this and how you have a brother named Peter Madson?

Yeah, my brother is named Peter. He’s a civil engineer.

I just checked and he’s Google-able. This is remarkable because “Peter Madson”, like my name, is the “John Smith” of Scandinavia. So the fact that your brother shows up on the first page means he has risen to the crème de la crème of Peter Madsons. He must be a really good engineer.

Really? My dad is actually a fairly well-known chemical engineer. He goes by Phil Madson, Jr. Apparently engineers tend to have creative children. They’ll either be engineers or they’ll be artists.

It’s been over a year since the Element T.I.M.E. video came out and you’ve put out the soundtrack for it. What took so long? Why didn’t you just copy and paste it?

It was just a matter of logistics. I put out a record last year called Pretty Swell Explode and it was a collection of remixes.

Whose parts were you feeling the most? Brent’s? Most people associate transition skating with punk or metal, and tech street lines with hip-hop.

I don’t have those particular associations that you’re talking about. I had never heard of Brent Atchley until I got this job. Kirk [David’s buddy at Element who used to do ON video] explained to me that Brent’s from Portland and he’s really into its hip-hop scene. Through anticon., I’m familiar with a lot of hip-hop scenes throughout the country. Brent does long lines, he does huge ollies and he’s real stylish—so I made his part very boom-bappy. For Nyjah Houston, I wanted to do something that was inspired by reggae, something that would match his lifestyle.

Tosh’s song wasn’t very reggae.

Yeah, Kirk wanted to present Tosh in a different way with a really big, heavy-sounding track because in his footage, he’s doing some big, big stuff. He’s very powerful on a skateboard. So Kirk wanted something that was more like—

–Roaring lion?

Yeah, exactly. Perfect. [Shit. I was completely joking.]There was definitely a conscious decision to not do a reggae track with Tosh. So Tosh has dreads and wears red, gold, and green, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that his song has to be that.

Chad Muska’s part is very Muska Beatz-y. Did you do some Muska Beatz research?

No, I never heard his album. I dj’d with Muska twice actually when they did the little premiere of the Element video. He was really fucking cool; totally full of energy. I had followed him for ten years, so it was kind of cool to hang out with the guy.

I saw him recently when I was skating through SoHo. He had a knee-brace on and he was carrying a cup. He looked pretty bummed. Who skates concrete parks better: Brent or Bam?

Brent. Wait—hold on a second. I don’t know who skates a concrete park better.

It’s just a matter of opinion. You won’t hurt either guy’s feelings.

I’m not worried about hurting Bam’s feelings. I like watching Brent Atchley skate. I’m not a fan of Bam Margera in any way, really. I’ve enjoyed the early CKY stuff. But Brent just has such a unique style.

When it came time to release T.I.M.E. as an album, did you ever consider just leaving the skate-sounds in? Skate rats like that because they can see the parts in their heads while they listen to the songs on their Walkmans.

I never even had access to the skate sounds, really. But I’ve had kids come up to me and tell me they like to skateboard to that music and it’s great. So they can listen to the music and then add their own skateboarding to the music.

Now, you changed up the pace of the soundtrack with the punk rock song on Bam’s part.

No, you know what? That’s the one part in the video I didn’t make. Bam actually requested to use Moist Boyz “The Tweaker” over music I had made. The song I made on the album, “Cop Crush,” is the intro where Bam gets pulled over by a motorcycle cop. The music that’s underneath that is what I made for Bam.

Why are kids Nyjah’s age turning pro in skateboarding, but there aren’t 12-year-olds turning pro in music? Can you name one preteen musician anybody gives a shit about?

Well, Michael Jackson’s probably the best example–

–I mean, nowadays.

A kid can get on a skateboard when they’re two years old and roll around. With music, you either have to learn an instrument or you have to learn how to operate equipment. I mean, with a skateboard, it’s just a piece of wood with four wheels on it. It’s a simple, primitive–

–Psh. The wheel is a pretty complex invention, buddy. Have you ever smoked weed and looked at a ball bearing?

Dude, I’m not in any way knocking all the intricacies of a skateboard.

I’m just fucking with you.

With music, there’s just so much more involved. Nowadays, everybody uses computers and samplers. I’m not saying it’s beyond a 12-year-old kid to know how that stuff works. When I was 12 I was skateboarding, but I didn’t know anything about music. Skateboarding made more sense to me at that time. I mean, you just hop on a board and you balance. There’s something raw and basic about that.

Mhmm.

Is there anything else you were wondering about the soundtrack?

I’ll send an email if I have any follow-up questions.